Catalyst (Or, Loki Doesn't Know What He Wants)
by Indigo-Night-Wisp
Summary: He strings a time-sensitive strand of magic throughout the spell, so that it won't catalyze until a certain time, giving him plenty of time to get out of the immediate area. The spell will strip the flesh from the bones of any living creature within one hundred feet. -I won the contest! I was the only entrant, but hey, it's still cool!


**Disclaimer: I do not own this maze of bone and flesh and word and wit. But I do swear, that if I dare, I'll make something of it.**

**A/N: Hey, everyone! This story is my entry to RandomFandom's Against the Clock Challenge. My friend Hannah Mac proofread for me and I had a lot of fun writing it! This is my first Avengers/MCU fic. Enjoy!**

**Warning: Off-canon post-Avengers. Alternate Reality.**

* * *

_Frantic hands, trembling lips, eyes gone round and wide._

Inside, Loki is panicking.

Outwardly, he is calm. Cool and collected, that's Loki. That's…

_He wasn't supposed to be here! _he snarls silently, viciously. _That stupid, bumbling oaf! That idiotic buffoon! He's going to get himself _killed _and it will be–_

_All. Your. Fault. _

Loki is not kind to himself.

That's really alright though. It's true. It _is _all his fault.

Thirteen minutes.

000

It begins, naturally enough, with good intentions. Great big, solid good intentions, just perfect for paving the way to the hell that follows soon after. Loki has _great _intentions.

It's not like he's doing this because he's _bored_. Though, he admits, sometimes that is exactly why he does it. Today, though, he's doing it to prove a point. It's a good point, too, a great one. One he's been trying to prove to the Avengers for months now.

_Start. Taking. Me. Seriously. _

Escaping his brother's custody after the battle was really all too easy. In fact, Loki rather wonders if Thor didn't let him go on purpose. It's exactly the sort of sentimental, sappy, _stupid _thing Thor would do. For some reason completely incomprehensible to Loki, Thor seems insistent upon believing that they are still brothers, still holds to the misbegotten hope that one day they will fight side by side once more. That Loki is not completely irredeemable, despite the evidence of the Midgardian city of New York.

It is good evidence, too. Loki _razed_ Manhattan to the _ground_. The fact that he rebuilt half of it in one night in an exhausting use of his magic does not negate that fact. Besides, Loki didn't rebuild the city for _Thor_. He rebuilt it because he planned on staying there for some time, and who would want to live in a hollowed-out, ravaged, husk of a city?

And anyway, he'd killed people. Lots of them. Midgardians, whom Thor had sworn to protect. Loki had killed them, particularly that S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. He had _personally _done that.

Thor likes to argue that since Loki went to Helheim to _bring them all back, _the fact that he killed them in the first place is somewhat forgivable. Loki likes to tell Thor that he is stupid, which, admittedly, is what Loki says when he wants to change the subject. (He's rather relieved when Thor doesn't ask him _why _he brought them all back to life. He's not entirely sure he knows the answer.)

In retrospect, it is perhaps this display of childishness and… _banter _that eventually convinced the Avengers to stop taking Loki seriously.

What a surprise. _That's _his own fault, too.

No matter what he does, no matter what horrible tricks he devises, or terrible plots he performs, the Avengers will quietly (and _carefully –Laufey's bones, how he _hates _the _care _they take_) put a stop to his mischief and drag him back to the Avenger's Tower, where Thor will do something inane like (_wrap him in a blanket, what is he, a toddler?_) try to talk to him or feed him Midgardian comfort food. And then, eventually, once Thor has coaxed and (_coddled_) threatened and ordered and begged, Loki will be allowed to leave.

And that's it. He just… goes home to his Midgardian apartment, across from a little old lady with about seventy-five cats.

Loki hasn't been a super-villain very long, but he's fairly certain that this isn't how things are supposed to go.

He isn't supposed to be hauled off to be scolded and cuddled and fed glorious Midgardian concoctions called _lattes_. He's not supposed to be treated with tolerant amusement and fond exasperation by his enemies.

He is _definitely_ not supposed to have _conversations_ with them. Ever. And yet, for some reason, the Avengers seem to have decided to turn the same idiotic blind eye to his exploits that Thor does.

So what if he doesn't kill people anymore? So what if he keeps the damage level down to a minimum?

He's still a bad person. He's still worthless and a monster.

And today, he's going to convince the Avengers of this. Once and for all.

000

Twelve minutes. This is not good.

Loki blinks, absently horrified with himself to discover tears of frustration pooling in his eyes. It's been centuries since he cried over a difficult spell. He blinks again and nearly stops breathing in terror when his vision blurs just for a second. Loki can't afford blurry vision. He has to be able to see what he's doing.

The sickening roll of fear in his stomach is making his voice shake. The words to his spell entangle. The magic stutters and Loki could just _scream_. Why won't his body obey him? Why won't his treacherous voice keep its usual strong cadence? Where is his Silver Tongue?

_Focus, _he tells himself, deep inside that place that is always calm, no matter what is happening. _Focus, Loki. Focus on reversing the spell._

Thor is shouting something somewhere behind him. It sounds sort of like his name, but Loki has become so detached from the natural world at this point that Thor's voice sounds like it's coming through water. He ignores his brother, because Thor is an idiot, and can't he see that Loki is kind of in the middle of something important?

Eleven minutes.

000

Loki's big plan to force Thor and the Avengers to take him as a serious threat involves a very complicated spell, seventeen distracting misdemeanors, four cats, and an explosion. Not necessarily in that order.

Aside from the spell, everything is a smoke-screen. It's all there for the purpose of getting attention and possibly giving his opponents a heads up that this is something Big. After all, Loki muses to himself sourly, with the way things have been going lately, it's entirely possible that they won't even come out to stop him if he doesn't make a big scene.

Thor won't come out anyway. Loki knows this because the last time he was causing mischief, Captain America had told him, offhandedly, that the next time Loki decided to act up, Thor was just going to wait back at the Avenger's Tower for the others to bring him in.

"He's tired of fighting against you," Steve Rogers had said, earnestly, even as he pulled Loki's arms into a painful hold behind his back. And Loki had to agree that this was probably true.

So, yes, Loki is very reasonably sure that Thor will not be anywhere near the spell when it works its destructive power. This works quite well for his plan.

It's a very good spell. Loki is rather proud of it. It took him a long time to create, and there are so many twists and turns in the spell-work that he suspects even he would have some difficulty in reversing it. It's a beautiful piece of magic.

He strings a time-sensitive strand of magic throughout the spell, so that it won't catalyze until a certain time, giving him plenty of time to get out of the immediate area. He's setting up the spell first, before he creates his big attention-getting scene. After he is done here, he will go and cause traffic jams, commit petty thievery, and generally produce chaos wherever he goes. And when the Avengers come out to stop him, he will lead them on a merry chase through the city, until one hour has passed, at which point they will be back here, in this little park, and…

The spell will strip the flesh from the bones of any living creature within one hundred feet.

It's a small park. The Avengers will be within the radius. Loki, however, will teleport out. He will be untouched, and the Avengers will be…

Dead. Hm. Loki hasn't thought about that. That's sort of…

It's not upsetting, because the Avengers are his enemies, and Loki does not mourn those who oppose him. But. It is a bit unsettling, the thought that those he has fought against so often for so long will be… gone.

Fifty-nine minutes, fifty-nine seconds. Fifty-eight, fifty-seven.

Loki pushes away the disconcerting thought and pulls himself through space.

000

Thor is still shouting and Loki's mind is on a constant, frantic loop of _why is he here he isn't supposed to be here Thor you were supposed to be back at the Tower where you were safe why are you here? _It is very distracting and Loki needs all the concentration he can get.

"Would you shut up?" he says finally, tensely. Thor is so surprised to hear him speak that he actually does what Loki asks and shuts up.

Only for a second though, and then he says, "Brother? Brother what is happening? What have you done?"

"I," Loki says, "have created a rather monstrous spell." He grins at Thor, sharp and nasty. "It's very bad. It's going to rip the flesh from your skeleton and leave your bones to rot." There. That was a terrible thing to say. Now Thor will go away and take the Avengers with him and they will be safe. (_Not that he cares, of course_.)

Unfortunately, the universe hates Loki, and this does not happen. Not even close. Instead, Thor is coming even closer.

"Stop!" Loki screams, suddenly desperate, hands flying, twisting, tugging, snatching urgently at any strand that might help stop the horror that is about to happen. "Stop, Thor, don't come any closer!"

Thor does stop, but he frowns. "Loki, what is it?"

"Go away, Thor," he says, yanking ineffectively at his handiwork. "Take your friends and _get away_."

"_Why_?" Thor asks, frustrated.

"You're too close!" Loki shrieks. "You're too close and it's going to _kill_ you!"

There are only seven minutes left.

000

Loki's mind is counting down the seconds as he teleports around the city, stringing chaos behind him like a kite's tail.

It's only been fifteen minutes, and already he's destroyed a market someone had created out of the back of their vehicle (_the substance they are selling appears to be some sort of white powder; it doesn't look particularly useful_), rescued three rather large men who were being accosted by a young girl (_he dropped them off in front of the authorities, what Stark calls the "police station", so that they could tell their story_), and caused a massive pile-up on a bridge.

He pauses only briefly to make sure none of the stupid little mortals are fatally injured before moving on. It wouldn't do to have the Avengers distracted by dying people on their way to apprehend him.

Forty-three minutes and seventeen seconds…

Loki casts gently, searching for the familiar signatures that his magic has become accustomed to. No, no, not – There! The Woman. Black Widow's signature flares red at his fingertips. It isn't the startling, bright crimson of Thor, but nor is it the more subdued reddish-purple of Loki's Hawkling. Her red is the color of fire. Thor's is the color of blood.

And now there is the soft blue of Captain America and the deep indigo of Dr. Banner's rage. And, of course, there is the flash of too-bright green that heralds the arrival of Stark.

They are all here. Loki smiles.

_Come and get me._

Thirty-eight minutes and fifty-two seconds.

000

The Avengers are coming closer and closer and this is completely unacceptable. How is Loki supposed to disable the spell when he is constantly being distracted by the peril in which these mortals have placed themselves?

Hm. Perhaps he does care, a little bit, after all.

"Loki," Thor says. "Loki. Loki, Loki –"

"_What?_" he explodes, hands pausing for a second he doesn't have to spare, eyes flying wide and pupils dilating, huge round black nearly overriding the green. "Thor, I am trying to _save our lives here_. Leave me _alone_!"

"With your flesh-devouring spell?" Thor retorts. "I will not. But…" he steps away, for far too short a time, and not far enough by half, and speaks with the Avengers. They don't look happy about it, and they all glance in Loki's direction more than once, but they do eventually agree to whatever Thor is saying. Loki goes back to his work, untwisting the strands of the spell with as much care as he can.

If only he could just rip it apart! But to do that would catalyze the spell too early, and then all his work would be for naught anyway.

"They are leaving," Thor says behind him. Loki does not look up from the tangle of green, shimmering magic in his hands. "I have told them to go back to the Tower and wait for us." He comes closer and Loki wants to _shriek._ "Loki, they did not want to go," Thor adds, as if this will comfort Loki, as if this is a good thing. He wants to glare at the big oaf, but he can't afford the second it would take his eyes away from the spell, so he does not.

"You should go with them," he says instead, unsteadily. He can practically _feel_ Thor's frown. He resumes his muttering, fingers nipping at spell-thread.

"Loki," Thor says again, the name trailing from his lips like a prayer. "_Brother_, you must tell me what I can do to help you."

_I am not your brother_, Loki wants to say, if only to keep the ritual, though he has begun to believe it less and less with every repetition. Besides, Thor just ignores him when he denies it, almost as though he assumes he can simply convince Loki of their brotherhood by way of saying it often enough.

Loki hates to admit it, but this might not be an untrue assumption.

"You cannot help me," he says, shaking his head. He is so tired. The magic is draining. The spell that he is trying so hard to end is using his own power to sustain itself.

He supposes that he can always just kill himself, if it comes to it. The spell will lose its power and die away. Loki would be dead, but that is doubtless not too harsh a price to pay.

Thor will probably be upset, but Loki is willing to risk that.

Four minutes and fifty-seven seconds.

000

It isn't until Loki is standing in the middle of the empty park, bathed in the green light of the spell, with the Avengers standing around him in a loose circle, that he truly realizes what is about to happen.

He realizes it when Steve Rogers steps forward to offer him a tentatively friendly smile and a casual, "Hey, Loki. What are you up to?"

He realizes it when Hawkeye and Black Widow don't aim their weapons at him, but at his spell. He sees it in Stark's raised face mask and it's clear in the fact that Dr. Banner has not released the Hulk.

This spell is going to explode because Loki wants them to know how awful and terrible and monstrous and evil he really is, and suddenly he doesn't want _any_ of them anywhere near it when it does.

"Go away," he tries, but of course they ignore him, instead stepping a bit closer.

"What's going on, Reindeer Games?" Stark wants to know, and honestly, Loki isn't even quite sure how to answer him anymore. He'd thought he was going to kill them, thought he hated them and wanted them dead, but in a sudden bout of self-awareness, he is coming to the somewhat disturbing conclusion that this is not what he wants at all.

And then it all becomes so very much worse because something _cracks _in the air and Loki feels the warm enveloping presence of crimson enter his vision.

Thor.

Thor is coming _here _(_he isn't supposed to be here, he's supposed to be at the Tower, not supposed to be in the spell's range, not supposed to be in danger, what is he doing here?) _and Loki's spell is going catalyze at any minute and strip the flesh from his bones.

He is going to kill his brother.

And it isn't even going to be on purpose.

Thor lands with an earth-shaking thud and starts towards Loki with determination and concern in his face.

Loki spins around to face the spell and locate the time-strand.

Thirteen minutes and twenty-nine seconds.

000

"I can _help_ you, brother," Thor insists. "Just tell me what to do!"

"You can't do _anything_, Thor," Loki snaps. "It's a timed spell, and it's going to catalyze any minute now, so just _get away_."

Thor holds his ground, absorbing the new information calmly. "What about you?" he asks.

Loki laughs, sharp and bitter. "I am going to stop the spell," he says.

"Then I do not need to leave," Thor says, "for you will stop the spell and then I shall be perfectly safe."

Loki sneered. "Your faith in my abilities exceeds my own, brother," and then "Bilgesnipes_," _he mutters to himself as he realizes what he just is grinning stupidly in the face of the terrible danger.

"It slipped out," he growls through gritted teeth. This does not help. If anything, Thor's grin grows wider.

"Naturally," he agrees, "for the things that slip out are the things we believe in our most secret thoughts."

Loki is beginning to wish that Thor had not decided to grow a sensitivity streak _right at this moment_ since it is going to get them both _killed_.

"Thor," he tries, carefully, using small words. "You need to go. I will be fine. But in case the spell goes off, you must be out of this park."

Thor stares at him. "What about you? What will you do if you cannot disable it in time?"

Loki gives Thor his sharpest, most grating smile. "I suppose I will die." He turns back to the spell, dismissing Thor. He's pulled in as soon as he touches the magic, the power surging through him and leaving him shaking and ill.

"Loki!" Thor is saying _again_ and Loki really does not have time for this.

"Why are you still here?" he says, breathless and staring helplessly at the time-strand of his spell, which is glowing with a particularly sickly shade of green.

"How far is the spell's radius?" Thor asks, unexpectedly, and Loki is surprised because Thor doesn't usually know how to ask relevant questions.

"One hundred feet," he hears himself say, faintly, "the length of the park."

"There is no one else here," Thor says, slowly, and he sounds somewhat bewildered. This is nothing new. Thor is often bewildered by the things Loki does.

"No," he says, though it was not a question. Behind him, he hears Thor shuffling.

"How much time is left?" is Thor's next question, and the air leaves Loki's lungs in his gasp, because Thor is _right behind him_, pressed close to Loki's back and leaning over his shoulder to look into the middle of the ball of magic in Loki's tired, trembling hands.

"Thirty-five seconds," is Loki's answer, quiet and defeated. He is so miserable he can't even fight Thor's arm coming around his waist, holding him close to Thor's chest as though he is a child. He has failed. He has failed and Thor won't leave, and now his brother is going to _die _because Loki is _stupid_, he is stupid and childish and he _doesn't know what he wants_.

"Brother," Thor's voice rumbles in his ear and Loki sort of wants to be annoyed because how can Thor sound so _amused _at a time like this but –what?

"Hold on," Thor is saying, and Loki barely has time to instinctually respond to the command before Thor is lifting Mjölnir into the air and their feet are leaving the ground.

Zero seconds.

The spell catalyzes, a wave of green enveloping the park area that is now empty of living flesh. Loki's breath catches as Thor flies them both quickly to the Avenger's Tower. His arm around Loki's waist is as tight as any shackle, but Loki cannot bring himself to mind overmuch because his head is beginning to swim and his eyes are closing faster than he would like them to.

His last thought before succumbing to the blackness is _Huh. Why didn't _I_ think of that?_

Well, no, actually. That is his second to last thought. His last thought is, _I think I shall actually welcome the blankets this time_.

000

When Loki opens his eyes again, he is lying in what he knows to be Thor's bedroom in the Avenger's Tower. He hurts everywhere, especially in his hands, which are aching from previous tension. He is exhausted. Turning his head seems like a monumental task, but he manages it and is rewarded by the sight of Thor sitting slumped in the chair next to the bed.

"Thor," he croaks out, and his brother looks up immediately.

"Loki!" he says, too pleased by far to see Loki open his eyes. "Brother, you are awake!"

_Yes, obviously_, is what Loki wants to say, but what comes out is, "I was going to kill them."

Thor pauses in reaching out to Loki, but only briefly, before continuing on and gently laying his hand on Loki's forehead, as if to test for a fever. His eyes are solemn and kind.

"Is that so?" he says, as if he does not believe Loki. Unexpectedly, a surge of peevish, childishness wells up in Loki.

"Yes," he says defiantly.

Thor tries not to smile. "Alright," he says. "If you say so."

"I was," Loki insists. "I was going to let the spell take them."

"Why?" Thor asks.

"Because I am wicked and a monster," Loki replies promptly. Thor takes one second to contemplate this before bursting into great deep belly-laughter.

"Oh!" he gasps. "Oh, Loki. I am sorry, I do not mean to laugh at you. But…" his voice trails away and he stares at Loki with unbearable affection in his eyes. "You are not a monster. And you are only a little bit wicked."

This is such a ridiculous statement that Loki can only stare in dumbfounded shock. Thor smiles at him kindly.

"Think, little brother. If you were so wicked, would you try to save them? Would you take such pains to end the spell? Why did you save them if you wished them dead?"

Loki is appalled to find himself pouting. "I didn't. I thought I did, but I didn't."

Thor grins. "Yes, I know."

Loki glares. "You are smug," he accuses.

"Yes," Thor agrees, smugly.

Loki lies back on the pillow and glares at his brother. "Why?" he asks.

Thor leans back and crosses his arms comfortably over his chest. "Because," he says, "You called me brother."

Loki doesn't know what to say to this, so he says nothing, instead burrowing under the blanket and hiding his burning face from Thor.

_Perhaps, _he thinks, _I shall just rest a moment._

He is asleep a second later.

* * *

**A/N: They are still accepting entries to the contest if there are any reeeeally fast writers out there. I would be happy to beta read for anyone who wants to enter! Rules and details are on the Random Fandom website, subcategory, Contests and Challenges. Have fun!**


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